May 13, 2022

Infidelity is not always a bad thing: How having a romance on the side can be considered 'self-care' that can actually prolong a marriage

This is all very well but it overlooks a major reason why infidelity is normally condemned: The person dating outside the marriage may find that they like the new lover better than their normal partner. It often happens. And that mostly leads to a marriage breakup

I did myself for a long time allow the lady in my life to do as she wished as long as it did not reduce her time with me.  And she did have a number of affairs. And after living for 14 years under that arrangement, I thought we would continue on our customary way indefinitely.  

But the unexpected (to me) did happen.  She ended up deciding that she liked one of her alternative partners better than me and prioritized him thenceforth.  So a romance on the side may be allowable for various reasons but it may lead to the loss of a valued partner

The old way has its reasons. 

My policy of tolerance did however pay off in one way.  The lady's new partner was disappointed when she informed him that she would continue to see me on a part-time basis.  She has done so.  She is a good catch so he puts up with that

Infidelity need not ruin a marriage and having a secret affair may be a form of 'self-care' that can benefit all participants and prolong the union.

That is the contentious viewpoints of Isabella Mise, the Communications Director at Ashley Madison - a dating platform created for married people who want to have discreet affairs, and believes.

The 36-year-old told Daily Mail Australia members are looking to form connections with other like-minded people.

'Monogamy works for a lot of people, but it doesn't always work for everyone long term,' Isabella said.

Isabella said Ashley Madison members usually feel happy in their marriage but seek something the relationship lacks.

Some are wanting to feel desired by someone new, while others are seeking an emotional connection rather than sexual pleasures. 

'I've spoken to members who have been married for 20 years or people who married their high school sweethearts and haven't slept with anyone else; no two marriages are the same,' Isabella said.

Isabella said Ashley Madison members usually feel happy in their marriage but seek something the relationship lacks.

Some are wanting to feel desired by someone new, while others are seeking an emotional connection rather than sexual pleasures. 

'I've slowly realised that infidelity is not always what you think and isn't what you see in movies.'

During lockdown married people reported feelings of boredom, isolation and loneliness 

Some believe infidelity was a 'reliable form of self-care' as their overall mood improved

In most cases the dating platform 'has helped preserve marriages'   

Over the past two years, Covid lockdowns and restrictions have put relationships to the ultimate test. 

'No one anticipated they would spend 24 hours with their significant other handling working from home, home schooling and living in such close quarters,' Isabella said.

'Affairs aren't the key to happiness in a marriage, but an outlet for many couples or married people wanting to date again.

'It can be a form of self-care - something people do for themselves that allows them to return to their primary relationship feeling less stressed or anxious.'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/relationships/article-10776873/Meet-woman-36-believes-infidelity-secret-long-lasting-happy-marriage.html